CULTURE WATCH: The Problem with Sarcasm

Could the use of sarcasm be hurting your ministry with youth?

We don't link to other youth ministry blogs in our posts too often anymore.  We do all our linking through our Twitter account (and we post there nothing but links to good youth ministry resources so we encourage you to follow our feed!) but sometimes I come across an article that needs to be highlighted.  Such is the case with the post "Every Youth Minister Needs: Less Sarcasm" from the Reflections Ministry blog.   In my younger years, I used sarcasm constantly. It took an older mentor to help me understand that use of that form of humor with young people can often be misunderstood.  Of course, our culture is steeped in sarcasm -- it is the primary tool of the trade for great comedians like David Letterman and John Stewart. But does it have any place in our interactions with youth:

Sarcasm is known for being "biting." In my experience, any time it is used it results in hurt feelings. Its not the person using sarcasm that is hurt, nor those who hear it, but the person to whom it is directed toward. As a youth worker, more often than not, we tend to direct sarcasm at a student. And when this student laughs we think we have accomplished the exact opposite of hurt. In reality, we are only fooling ourselves. No student walks away from a sarcastic remark without feeling some level of pain, especially if they respect the person who said it.

We encourage you to read the whole post, share it with your adult leaders, and consider if there might be a need to reconsider how humor may be hurting or helping your ministry.  To follow other posts in the "Every Youth Minister Needs..." series, go here.

 

Photo credit: J. Sandord

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Youth Ministry Ideas for Lent '10: #5 R U A XIAN?

As part of the Lenten journey, invite youth to consider just what it means to follow Jesus.

Though we sometimes boil Christianity down to simply giving intellectual assent to a set of beliefs and declaring public our allegiance to those beliefs (something Marcus Borg calls "salvation by syllables"), it's hard to ignore that the gospel writers describe the Christian faith as something more -- evidenced by how much emphasis they place on how Jesus lived his life as a road map for the journey all followers of Jesus are challenged to take.  I recently challenged my youth to consider what it would really mean to follow Jesus -- not just believe in him -- but walk the path he walked. 

I started by adapting an idea suggested recently by a reader of this blog. I invited the youth to rank, in a perfect world, how important the following should be in their lives: friends, family, God, school, sports, Facebook, hobbies. I then asked them to rank the items again, this time being honest about how important each truly is in their daily lives. Of course, for most of the teens the rankings on the two lists were quite different, with God often trailing toward the middle or bottom of the list.

I then invited them to imagine that they live in a world, in the not-too-distant future, when it has been determined that religion is the cause of too much suffering and violence in the world and so is outlawed. That means that Christianity is no longer legal in the United States. My question to the youth: "If you were living in this future, could you be arrested for being a Christian? If someone looked at your life, would it be obvious to them that you are a Christian, and what would such a life look like?" 

To aid this discussion, I provided youth with a handout that included a list of a variety of Jesus sayings from the gospel, particularly those related to social justice and encouraged the teens to consider if they could be accused of doing any of these things for which Jesus is remembered.

This was not an easy conversation. It was challenging for the young people to consider to what extent their faith is "lived" or simply something they have "declared."  We considered how difficult it would be to follow all that Jesus does in scripture, and whether or not the goal is to be just like Jesus or simply to do our best to walk the path Jesus walked. We also talked about God's grace, even when we fail to do what we know we should.  Ultimately, I hope that some of the youth left the conversation thinking a little more seriously about their Christian walk, seeing it not simply as a one-time decision but a life-long process of joining in God's mission of peace, mercy, forgiveness, justice, and grace for all.

You can download a PDF version of the handout for this activity here.

--Brian

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Youth Ministry Ideas for Lent '10: #5 Recipe for You

Lent is a season of self-reflection. Challenge youth to take stock of who they are and whose they are with this creative project.

I am leading a creative spiritual journaling group during Lent and tonight we sent the participants off with a writing challenge borrowed from the excellent Soul Pancake website that would work well with teens. 

Ask youth to think about what it would be like if we walked around with t shirts on all day that broadcast to others the basic gist of who we are.  What would your t shirt say -- 50% confused, 30% spiritual,  5% musical, 15% distracted? Or imagine you are expressed as a recipe.  What would be your ingredients?  A dash of humor?  Two spoon fulls of doubt?  A cup of sweetness but two cups of sour grapes?  

Invite youth to spend some time thinking about themselves, both as they imagine others perceive them and as they would like to be perceived. You could approach this as a writing project, an art project or even have teens bring blank white t-shirts on which they describe themselves.  When finished, spend some time talking about what it was like having to think more deeply about themselves and what makes up who they are.  Where is God in that mix of attributes and ingredients?  What part of their life includes their faith?  What attributes or ingredients do they wish they could change or add?  Given who they see themselves to be, where might God be calling for them to use their unique talents, gifts, shortcomings, and personalities in ministry and mission?

Note:  For any version of this activity, you might want to include a time of affirmation in which youth contribute to each other's creations by adding positive descriptive words about one another to each person's writing, art, or t-shirt.  

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A SONG FOR LENT: I'm Not Alright by Sanctus Real

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Youth Ministry Ideas for Lent '10: #4 Post Secret

Use the idea behind PostSecret to invite your youth into the spiritual practice of confession as part of their Lenten journey.

For many protestants, the spiritual practice of confession only finds expression a few Sundays a year during Lent in the form of responsive readings in worship. I'll admit that I generally refuse to participate in these "Dear, God...we are so wretched and unworthy of your love" type of liturgies. Yet, the practice of confession is a powerful way of reminding us of the unique relationship we have with God. It's not that in the confessing that we share secrets that God does not already know. Rather, it is in the act of confessing that we are reminded that God knows us completely, even in our brokenness, and yet still loves us unconditionally.

It's no great revelation to say that teenagers struggle with identity and self-worth and may find the notion of God's unconditional love difficult to accept. After all, they live in a culture that constantly tells them they are not good enough -- unless of course they buy the right car, the best brand of toothpaste, make the highest grades, win the ball game, or earn more money than the next person. I have to imagine the world would be a better place if we could help people learn to both be honest about their brokenness and also accept that despite their "sin" they are beloved of God. What better place to start than with our youth?

You could invite your group into a conversation and practice of confession by tapping into the popularity of PostSecret -- a blog that features confessional postcards sent in by real people. Some of these confessions are funny, some touching, and some sad and tragic. Perhaps show the group some of the postcards from the PostSecret website (or one of the PostSecret books) and then set out a variety of art materials (paint, markers, crayons, magazine images, glue, etc) and provide each teen with a large blank index card. Ask them to find a spot where they can work quietly alone as they create their own confessional postcard. You may not want your youth to confess deep dark secrets. Instead, invite them into a time of introspection. Consider offering them some sentence starters like these:

Something I don't want anyone to know about me is...

I wish I could stop....

I always lie when someone asks me...

I think people wouldn't like me if they knew...

I feel guilty when...

One thing I wish I could change about myself is...

I hope no one ever finds out that...

It's important to maintain anonymity in a project like this. When students finish their work, perhaps have them place all the postcards in a lidded box. If you plan to display the cards later, tell students who do not want their card displayed to fold it in half before placing it in the box. Finish this project with a time of worship together in which the box of postcard confessions are placed in the center of the worship space as an offering. Invite youth to reflect on the experience of confession and finish with an assurance of God's unbounded, unconditional love for all. Close by sharing Romans 8: 38-39 which declares that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

--Brian

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