Comments on RETHINKING YOUTH MINISTRY: 13 Things You Should Never Do in Youth Ministry

Considering I run one of those blogs that "te...

2011-12-18T04:22:32.071-06:00

Considering I run one of those blogs that "tells us what to do" I was tempted to switch off - however - that said I found it a very helpful list!

Would probably add "never say you can keep a secret until you hear it. - Fatal error." and "never play a prank on the senior pastor's wife."

Cheers n' blessings
t.

TJ, thanks for your comment. My caveat to your app...

2011-12-16T12:19:25.810-06:00

TJ, thanks for your comment. My caveat to your approach is to mention what happened with Penn State. There you had an adult who was allowed to be alone with youth of the same gender and the results were devastating. So although we know ourselves and know that we are trustworthy, the trick is to be careful you are not setting a precedent which allows some other adult who may be a sexual predator to be alone with students.

Rule #7 is a good rule but one that I feel can be ...

2011-12-16T08:37:46.645-06:00

Rule #7 is a good rule but one that I feel can be "broken". I would say that it depends on the teen. I would never be caught alone with a teen girl but it for ne it woukd delend on the guy. I have built relationships with teen guys before and their parents asked me to drive them to practices. I even took one of my teens for a 3 hr round trip road trip to go pick up a mattress my wife and I had bought. I will tell you that we bounded on that trip. I got hin away from his friends and we talked about things he would have never talked about. So for #7, I woukd advise this: Never EVER be alone with the opposite sex and know your teens before you are alone with the ones that are the same gender as you.

I have to dissagree with never confess your sins t...

2011-11-04T09:27:00.289-05:00

I have to dissagree with never confess your sins to a student. It's harmful to present yourself as perfect because what teen thinks they can be that and how damaging when they fail. We should be wise in what we share with them but it's very powerful to be real and share your struggles and what helps you to stay on track. Keeping our lives pure is hard and we should never pretend otherwise we just have to show Jesus is worth it and it can be done even with failures. Hearing how others fight the same battles as I do helps me feel that I'm not the only one and I have a chance especially if it's a leader that I admire.

Alisha, welcome to youth ministry and good luck wi...

2011-07-23T23:20:24.441-05:00

Alisha, welcome to youth ministry and good luck with your group. I think you are exactly right to go ahead and work with the youth you have and let them know that they do matter.

As to your questions regarding, #7 - Yes to all of them. We have a rule of two in our ministry, meaning no adult is ever alone with youth -- at least two of us are always present and in sight of each other. It it doesn't just apply to opposite genders -- boys don't drive alone with male leadersa and the same for girls and adult female leaders. This is for the protection of adults and youth.

My husband and I are new to "youth ministry&q...

2011-07-23T23:12:06.380-05:00

My husband and I are new to "youth ministry" Our 1st class was last Wednesday for which I had my 7 year old niece, my 11 year old niece, my 7 year old nephew and one 12 year old member of the church. We are supposed to have only the 13-18 year olds. However, I didn't want to cancel, I was afraid it would show the younger ones that they don't matter. So we had class and had a blast.

One question about this post so far,
Excuse my naivete, but why #7? Safety, accusations of inappropriate conduct, the opinions of others, preventing "crushes" from youth? or all of the above?
For both male and female youth leaders? I have so much to learn.

I'll admit, #1 suprised me a bit, seems like o...

2011-04-09T22:26:52.645-05:00

I'll admit, #1 suprised me a bit, seems like one of those 'goes with out saying' ones. But I am glad you said it.. someone needs to hear it. Personally I like to use icebreaker games because they help new youth feel welcome and regulars build unity and trust.

don't assume - don't assume anything. Set ...

2011-02-03T23:57:12.870-06:00

don't assume - don't assume anything. Set your expectations out for both leaders and youth and don't assume they know what you would expect in a situation

Never assume - don't assume your kids know ho...

2011-02-03T23:56:22.419-06:00

Never assume - don't assume your kids know how to act or your leaders know what to do or how to act either. make your expectations clear to both leaders and youth

I just graduated Highschool and from personal expe...

2010-08-19T19:42:12.453-05:00

I just graduated Highschool and from personal experience I would say "Never confess your own sins to the youth while trying to tell them to stop sinning." (This gives the youth the impression that they will never achieve the goal you have set for them. Youth look up to the pastor as the guy who is close to God(because he should be) and telling them you sin while teaching them not to only takes away there hope of achieving their goal.)

After years of doing youth ministry, I now say &qu...

2010-05-26T11:19:16.810-05:00

After years of doing youth ministry, I now say "never minister to just the youth." Teens are part of a family but there often exists an "us against them" mindset in youth ministry because we (youth leaders) often are doing things parents aren't happy with or we're not doing enough!
In spite of this, I'm convinced that some of the most powerful youth ministry can be to the parents and not the youth. If we can help (A) empower parents to be the primary spiritual leaders in their home and (B) address the "sins of the fathers" that they're passing onto their children, that is HUGE! I've found that by doing A & B, we can help increase the chances of our youth maintaining a relationship with Christ after leaving home and graduating from our youth groups. At the end of the day, it's the parents who will continue to walk and lead their kids (good or bad) for the rest of their lives and not us!

After years of doing youth ministry, I now say &qu...

2010-05-26T11:17:54.775-05:00

I agree with number 7, too. However, we have speci...

2010-04-05T11:53:35.503-05:00

I agree with number 7, too. However, we have special permission forms and a policy about speaking with parents before transporting youth, period.

Good stuff dude. I might add the following: Never...

2010-03-11T18:11:55.594-06:00

Good stuff dude. I might add the following:

Never give a youth the keys to your car to "get something out of the back for me..."

Or in my case, the church van... I'll write about it some day!

@coreydrose on twitter

great! i was considering canceling a trip coming u...

2010-03-11T02:01:29.970-06:00

great! i was considering canceling a trip coming up do to lack of commitment but that is great advice@ thanks so much for the info

noob blogger 101

Never do anything for young people they can learn ...

2010-03-04T08:12:58.377-06:00

Never do anything for young people they can learn to do themselves!

Great list and we always need to be reminded. One...

2009-11-07T14:35:34.976-06:00

Great list and we always need to be reminded. One thing I would add is to be careful about giving advice to teens, especially if it involves some sort of conflict or other situation with their parents.

I would have to say out of all of those rules, the...

2009-10-28T09:56:55.813-05:00

I would have to say out of all of those rules, the most important is actually 13. In the past i have been easily discouraged when I hear about the numbers of other youth groups, or discouraged by the fact I get 4 kids out to an event that I thought was awesome. I am still learning how to process this but the shift from numbers based merit is hard. Remember Christ invested in 12 disciples when he got really big groups around him he often slipped away.

I would take kenny's post and actually add it ...

2009-10-21T12:57:15.638-05:00

I would take kenny's post and actually add it to the list.

"Never bring a leader on board in your ministry order to minister to that leader."

(Know your leader's character and ability to lead before giving them access to the kids.)

Obviously this is all within reason, no leader is perfect and you can set the bar too high, but you should at least have a bar to set. Moreover we should minister to our leaders, that is our job. However we should not bring them on board simply to minister to them.

I brought a young man on board once for that reason... major backfire.

I'm a youth leader, I'm from Brazil. I thi...

2009-10-21T11:40:59.170-05:00

I'm a youth leader, I'm from Brazil. I think that's a very good "never do this" list to youth ministry.
Overall I can say the youth ministry around the world need upright leaders.

Kenny Hard - SYOH Blogs

KaGe- I think you need to post the story of this ...

2009-10-15T15:44:09.106-05:00

KaGe-

I think you need to post the story of this sacrifice on your blog!! I am dying to hear it...

agreed that #7 is a good piece 'never do that' advice, but one that handcuffs us in a lot of ways. Grr... it frustrates me to no end that I cannot pick up a youth and go play racquetball or whatever.

Uh KaGe...I think we need to hear the details on t...

2009-10-15T15:38:39.821-05:00

Uh KaGe...I think we need to hear the details on the "sacrificing an animal" story!

How about never sacrifice an animal in the church....

2009-10-15T15:36:33.490-05:00

How about never sacrifice an animal in the church...unless you have permission from the janitor?

Ooo...BIG number 7...I got a close friend right now that's getting burned real bad because of this one...

2009-10-15T15:34:17.773-05:00

This comment has been removed by the author.

Amen, Jay. In fact,undermining parents is a good &...

2009-10-15T14:47:08.342-05:00

Amen, Jay. In fact,undermining parents is a good "never do this" thing to add to the list.